Weekend Therapy

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and certain characteristics that need desperate improvements. I've always been the type of person who believed that if someone didn't agree with certain behaviors of mine then that's that person's problem because I'm not going to be the one to change. Talk about being narrow minded right? Of course that kind of thinking wont get me anywhere in life, it'll just bring forth failure of communication, understanding and being closed off towards others. I've also noticed that in arguments, mainly between my parents and even with my boyfriend, I get very defensive, shut down, and put that wall up. Re-reading what I wrote sounds child like don't you think? If I want to have an equal adult-like relationship with these people then I need to demonstrate that as well, otherwise I wont get that kind of respect.

To everyone who reads this it may sound like basic 101 kind of stuff, but if this behavior was learned at a young age then it will be a hardder habit to break. It may be hard, but its not impossible I think if I learned how to do something I'm sure I can unlearn it as well. It'll definitely be challenging- but if my own characteristics are going to negatively influence my future and present relationships then this is something that I need to correct. My boyfriend has always challenged me with this thought, "If people don't feel the need to improve themselves then how will they grow?" He's definitely right!! And I admit that I can be a stubborn young lady who wants to remain the same only because it's comfortable for me, but what challenge does that bring forth- how will my thoughts expand and how will I grow intellectually if I'm stagnant.

How many of you have tried to talk to people who just WONT see your view because they're stuck in their ways? It's frustrating when you can't get through to them huh? Well I don't want to be that kind of person, I want to be able to accept what you have to say with an open heart and mind to give you a fair opportunity, so you may do the same for me.

Well... this weekend Aug. 21st -23rd I'll be heading out to Laguna Beach to a retreat for my internship. It sounds nice, but these retreats are intense. It's 2 full days of group and individual therapy. I'm interning for a Group Leader position at Cal State Fullerton University. I'm a Human Service major and my goal is to become a therapist or youth counselor for abused children or children with eating disorders..

In a sense I will be training to be like a group therapist, but I can't call myself a "therapist" because I'm not liscenced hence why I'm applying for the "Group Leader" position. haha. Anyway, this retreat will definitely put me on the right track to help me focus on what I talked about in this blog. So I'm definitely happy to attend but I know when I come back I'll be emotionally exhausted! :) Well can't dwell on that!
Anyway have a great weekend! :)

I kneel down before the shallow waters, to reveal my own reflection. Just a mere window of the soul, is all that my eye's can be detecting. For what all that I consume, is not all that there is. We must look beneath the visual shell, for that is where we live. Reach deep my friend, and you shall find much more than you conceive. For who or what we may become, exist inside of thee.
Inside Of Thee by Robert Hensel