Venting...

I have to vent a little bit... It's already been months since I last went to the gym. I occasionally run around the park and lift weights at home but that doesn't break a sweat outta me as if I were at the gym. Lately I've been having so much back pain, knee pain, and hip pain- I swear to you I feel like a Senior Citizen...

Man, I remember when the gym was my life; I ran 5 miles on the treadmill, lifted weights for an hour, attended my kickboxing classes and I felt so damn good afterwards. It was the greatest feeling to know that I was healthy and staying in shape.

In April I was diagnosed with diabetes. It killed me when I found out, because I'd exercise on a daily basis to prevent any health issues from occurring... Apparently I got hit with a disease that's most prevelant in my Dad's side of the family. One would think that after I found out about my diagnosis I'd be eager to exercise and more health conscious but, NOPE...

For those who read my previous blogs know about my past eating disorder which also lead to the compulsive exercising behavior. And now I'm feeling the effects from it.

I wish I could still maintain that drive and motivation to just drop everything and go to the gym as I used to.... I feel a little embarrassed and guilty for writing this when I could be using this time to go to the gym- maybe I still can. I'm just not as quick with all these aches in my body...

::sigh:: I just need to stop being so NEGATIVE and be like NIKE and just DO IT! ;)

Thanks for listening!